10. "The Pope said in an interview recently that the use of condoms is acceptable under certain circumstances. For instance, if you're dating someone from the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'" –Jay Leno

9. "President Obama announced a two-year pay freeze for all federal employees. This means the next time the TSA agent is reaching into your pockets, he's looking for spare change." –Jay Leno

8. "A 19-year-old Somali man was arrested in Portland for allegedly planning to detonate a bomb at a Christmas tree lighting ceremony. His parents are devastated. He had such a promising career as a pirate." –Jay Leno

7. "WikiLeaks released more than 250,000 secret documents, some of which refer to computer passwords for world leaders. The most shocking revelation: Kofi Annan's password is 'BieberFan9.'" –Conan O'Brien

6. "President Obama took an elbow to the face last week and had to get 12 stitches. He was in line at Best Buy trying to get a $49 Blu-ray player." –Jimmy Kimmel

5. "WikiLeaks' Julian Assange said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton should resign for ordering American diplomats to spy on their foreign counterparts. Thanks, creepy Australian guy who's wanted for rape in Sweden, we'll make a note of that." –Jimmy Kimmel

4. "The government is considering raising the retirement age to 69. In other words, they want Brett Favre to play two more years." –Conan O'Brien

3. "Anderson Cooper did a show this week from inside that half-mile long drug smuggling tunnel between San Diego and Mexico. It's quite an amazing tunnel. It has lighting, ventilation, a rail car, a Starbucks..." –Jimmy Kimmel

2. "Promoting his new book, President Bush visited the headquarters of Facebook. Unfortunately, he spent the whole visit on Farmville, clearing brush." –Conan O'Brien

1. "Former President George W. Bush said he's a huge fan of his new iPad. Or as he called it, his 'glowing magic window.'" –Conan O'Brien

One more…we couldn’t resist…

"In a recent interview, Sarah Palin said we must stand with our North Korean allies. When she was corrected she said, 'Listen, geometry was never my strong suit.'" –Jay Leno