10.
"It’s being reported that Mitt Romney's personal Hotmail account has
been hacked. Yeah, Hotmail. Even Ron Paul was like, 'Get with it, you old
geezer!'" –Jimmy Fallon
9. "Hey, guess who's gay? The Green Lantern from the comic books. Today
Mitt Romney knocked him down and shaved his head." –David Letterman
8. "Obama gave Bon Jovi a ride to
New York City on Air Force One. Makes sense – Bon Jovi’s living on a prayer,
while Obama’s campaigning on one." –Jimmy Fallon
7. "A new survey found that Mitt
Romney is ahead of Obama among those who make $36,000-$90,000. Or as Romney put
it, 'And they said I can't connect with the poor.'" –Jimmy Fallon
6. "New research shows that
elderly people emit a distinct odor. Yeah, the study was conducted by two guys
stuck in an elevator with Larry King." –Conan O'Brien
5. "Speaking of Mitt Romney, his
campaign is in the news for misspelling several words on his promotional items.
Today, Romney issued a press release that said, 'I'll get to the bottom of
this, or my name isn't Malt Ramrod.'" –Jimmy Fallon
4. "Mitt Romney pledged this week
(that) if elected president, he will drive down unemployment to 6% or lower
before the end of his first term. Well, it's easy enough to do; all he has to
do is re-hire the people he already fired." –Jay Leno
3. "Unemployment is still looking pretty bad. In fact, the White House has
a new slogan on job creation: 'Hope and change the subject.'" –Jay Leno
2. "Facebook may change its accounts policy and allow kids under 13 to
join. Under 13. Yeah, when they heard this, Chinese officials said, 'Great. Now
our workers will never get anything done.'" –Conan O'Brien
1. "The No. 2 guy in al-Qaida has
been killed. Who says Obama isn't creating job openings?" –Jay Leno
David Letterman's "Top Ten Subject
Lines of Emails Received By Mitt Romney"
10. Meet other attractive Mitts in your area
9. Newt here, regarding the VP job
8. Reminder: It's been over a month since you've purchased a Cadillac
7. Confirming your 2:30, 5:30, and 9 o'clock haircuts
6. 20% off at beach-house-car-elevators.com
5. Nice slacks, bro!
4. Your Marie Osmond tickets have shipped
2. If I vote for you, can I ride your dancing horse?
1. Warning: your hacked password is about to expire
