10.
"Well, President Obama and first lady Michelle went to see the U.S.
Olympic basketball team play Brazil the other day. And during the game, they
were put on the kiss cam. At first, they didn't kiss and the crowd booed them.
Then the camera went back to them. And they finally did kiss. Isn't that
amazing? A politician in Washington caught on camera kissing a woman he's
actually married to?" –Jay Leno
9.
"I was just the guy with the smoke screenish, yet still legal title of CEO
and Managing Director who was paid at least $100,000 a year to do what,
according to me, Mitt Romney, was nothing. That’s the kind of common sense
business experience I hope to bring to the White House." –Jon Stewart
8.
"Yesterday in Cincinnati, President Barack Obama had a meeting with Jerry
Springer. He is trying to win the vote of husbands who cheat on their wives
with men. That's a big demographic." –Craig Ferguson
7.
"In 2012 I realized the company I was CEO of in 1999 did things that would
hurt my presidential run in the present, so I retroactively wasn't there." –Jon Stewart, mocking Mitt
Romney's"retroactive retirement" from Bain Capital
6. "Have you heard this? They're saying Condoleezza Rice is on the top of
the vice presidential list for Mitt Romney. Many Republicans think they
compliment each other: Romney has experience with American jobs, Condi has
experience with foreign countries, and since all American jobs are in foreign
countries, they would be the perfect team." –Jay Leno
5.
"We have American athletes in uniforms made in China, wearing French
berets. I don't know if we're supposed to compete, ask for a loan or
surrender." –Jay Leno
4.
"Mitt Romney is worth $250 million, and reporters said, "Mitt,
honestly, how did you get so rich?' And he said, 'Well, I've always been good
with my money and I do smart things. I always make sure my tires are properly
inflated. And I save 15 percent on my car insurance by switching to
Geico.'" –David Letterman
3.
"Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney’s inability to
understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax
code largesse, that’s a little offensive to people, especially considering
Romney's view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I
don't know, food and medicine." –Jon
Stewart
2.
"After years of criticism for his poor record on boosting employment,
President Barack Obama is pleased to announce today he created a job.
Congratulations to Amelio Markham from Smithsburg, Maryland, on his new job,
making charts illustrating President Obama's downward spiraling approval
ratings." –David Letterman
1. "Mitt Romney announced that he's going to the Olympics in London next
month. No word yet on whether he will be rooting for Switzerland, Bermuda,
Luxemburg or the Cayman Islands. I'm not quite sure." –Jay Leno
