10. "Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'" –Conan O'Brien

9. "All in all a successful trip. Best of all, Romney has checked three countries off the list of '1000 Places To Offend People Before You Die.'" –Stephen Colbert

8. "Like Palin, Rafalca's female, also doesn't read newspapers, and has completed the same number of terms as governor." –Stephen Colbert, on Ann Romney's horse that competed in the Olympic Dressage event

7. "The Olympics have just started and the Greeks are already 14 medals in debt." –Conan O'Brien

6. "Mitt Romney is getting a lot of attention for a series of gaffes he's made while he's in London. And in response, Romney said that he has nothing but respect for the people of England, especially their monarch, Queen Latifah." –Jimmy Fallon

5. "The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him." –Jimmy Fallon

4. "Mitt Romney annoyed the British by saying that London seemed unprepared for the Olympics. You know, putting his foot in his mouth like that is not very presidential. Vice presidential, sure. Yeah, but not presidential." –Jay Leno

3. "Mitt Romney is now in London to see his horse compete in the dressage event. Dressage is kind of like horse ballet. Finally something that connects Romney with the average American voter." –Jay Leno

2. "An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is really hard to tweet when you're swimming." –Conan O'Brien

1. "In the spirit of the Olympic Games, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, there's hope for a ceasefire within the Jackson family." –Jay Leno