10. "Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the
word 'I' 37 times, 'Romney' 7 times, and 'jobs' only once. And then there was
the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'" –Conan O'Brien
9. "John McCain was at the convention. He just wandered
out on stage in his bathrobe." –David Letterman
8. "According to a poll released last week, Mitt Romney has zero percent
of the black vote. In fact, if it weren't for John Boehner, Romney wouldn't
have any support from people of color at all." –Jay Leno
7. "Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan,
where he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth
certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card."
–Bill Maher
6. "Some of the Republicans, I think, are over-reacting
to Hurricane Isaac — like today Rick Santorum was seen gathering up two of
every animal." –Jay Leno
5. "You can think outside the box and pick someone
who'll excite people like Sarah Palin or you can play it safe with an honest down-home
family man like John Edwards." –Craig Ferguson
4. "I can't wait to see the debate between Ryan and Joe
Biden. Biden is said to be already trying out different strategies. So far the
one that Obama likes is where Biden pretends to have food poisoning and they
cancel the debate." –Craig Ferguson
3. "Herman Cain was in Tampa. When a reporter asked him
if Isaac reminded him of Katrina, he said, 'I never even met the woman.'"
–Jay Leno
2. "It seems the GOP has placed 13,000 umbrellas in
bins outside the hall for people to use. Delegates can't bring them inside for
security reasons, so after you use the umbrella, you drop it off for the next
person to use. That sounds like creeping socialism." –Jay Leno
1. "It looks like Hurricane Isaac has delayed the Republican convention
for one day. See, I think the Republicans should use these 60-mile an-hour
winds to their advantage. Mitt Romney should walk about there and go, here are
my tax returns for the last 10 years....Oh my gosh, what happened?'" –Jay
Leno
And we can't forget old man talking to an empty chair...
